Poem · Poetry

My city at night

Have you ever
Heard your city at night?
She will talk to you
Of what she saw in the light.

Talk of the lovers who kissed
for the first time on the bridge and
the homeless man below it,
weakened more today,
closer to death a little bit.

Politicians talking of welfare
in front of a crowd,
and plotting warfare
as soon as the masks come down.

I see it all,
I hear it all
and I bear it all.

Still, if ever
you need a listening ear
and a friend near,
you will find me here.

Just come over
at night, when everyone sleeps.
Stand on a bridge
Feel the wind in your hair
Stare into the dark waters below.

Or go to a park
Feel the air in your lungs
Rest your hand on a tree
Dig your heels in the soil.

I am here, with you
Through it all
Tell me your story
And I will tell you mine.

You and I,
We shall be fine.

feel good · Healing · love · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

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I look for you when I am alone

The only one who felt like home

.

Frantically, my panic has grown

Then I realize –

In everything,

In my very being, 

you are shown

.

You are me and I am you

I am not alone

Healing · life · music · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

Every narcissist’s downfall…unending desire

Narcissists keep collecting a lot of bad karma/deeds in their life. Most of these deeds are done because of the desires that a narcissist has. Narcissist’s desires keep them unsatisfied and always in a state of unease. They cannot really surrender to life and the moment that is. They are always either playing a victim or hero about something in the past or they are projecting into the future, working towards a certain goal. Either way, the present moment is not satisfactory for them. They are never present.

The song below is a great warning to all narcissists. Informing them of their impending doom and grounding them to reality. It is a bit dark but a helpful warning to anyone who is too much into their ego.

Song and translation is given below. It is from a Pakistani drama OST. The drama is called ‘Wabaal’ which means – calamity, ruin, misfortune, crime, sin.

Meaning :

You are a crazy, wild and unwise person

About what small thing are you going to stir up drama now?

Stop taking this physical world so seriously

This wrestling (ego-fights in the world) are going to stop with as soon as you leave this world (when you die)

.

This desire is a whirlpool

There is no end to it

Desire is such a prayer

Which doesn’t satisfy ever

.

Getting your desires is not in your will

.

Human, o human

Don’t keep following your desires

Everything is God/Source/Consciousness

You are nothing

x2

.

If you listen to the heart’s desires,

it will tell you to get the Moon on the Earth.

And then you will want it’s glow

to be attached on your clothes.

.

If you want to swim

in the ocean of your desires,

Trade yourself for it

And forget your happiness

.

Don’t be in a relationship with only what your heart wants

Sometimes learn to surrender to what is happening

God/Source/Consciousness has given you so many blessings

Sometimes sit alone and count all of them

.

Desires are like conspiracies

They will ask you questions

They will make you sell yourself

And make you commit many sins/mistakes

.

Every minute, you will crave for peace (but you won’t get it)

It will make your life that absurd

.

This desire is a whirlpool

There is no end to it

Desire is such a prayer

Which doesn’t satisfy ever

.

Getting your desires is not in your will

.

Human, o human

Don’t keep following your desires

Everything is God/Source/Consciousness

You are nothing

x2

.

You are a crazy, wild and unwise person

About what small issue are you going to stir up drama now?

music · Poem · Poetry

I saw my beloved in all I saw

Once a human does enough work on their spirituality and integrates all aspects of their broken psyche – they will start seeing some part of themselves being reflected in everyone. This feeling of oneness is precious. There is no other, all are one. In such a state of oneness, a person starts knowing everyone as a manifestation of the supreme beloved who is the creator, sustainer and destroyer of this reality that we all play a part in. It is a bliss to be in this state of oneness.

Here is a beautiful Kalaam (spiritual discourse) by Hazrat Shah Niyaz (Sufi poet) sung by the amazing Sufi singer Abida Parveen. This Kalaam discusses how a person who has experienced this kind of oneness will then see God/Creator/Beloved in every person whom they meet. My translation & interpretation of it is below the video.

Meaning :

I am needy person, who needs you

I will feel very dearly the sorrow for a beloved like you

You are the Sun; my eye is alight with your beauty

If I give you up, to whom can I go?

.

I saw my beloved in all I saw

At times revealed, hidden at times

.

At times a possibility, at times imperative

At times ephemeral, at times eternal

.

At times Creator was an emperor with an addiction of power and the throne

At other times, was seen as a beggar with a begging bowl in hands

.

At times in the form of a beautiful lover

Creator was showing charms and grace

.

At times a lover like Shah Niyaz Ahmad (poet’s name)

He was seen beating his chest in grief with a heart full of pain

.

At times revealed, hidden at times

I saw my beloved in all I saw

.

Top image is roof of Hafez’s tomb (Hāfezieh) located in Shiraz, Iran.

feel good · life · love · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

Union with the beloved

I am not an expert in Sufism, just a student of it. I once heard an interview of a Sufi Sheikh who said something to the effect of – “All of life is a coping mechanism before we meet the beloved (the creator) again”

To me, this statement hit really deep.

That is why many Sufi songs will refer to God as a lover or beloved. Here is one such beautiful song by a wonderful singer called Romy. The song is called ‘Sanu ik pal chain na aave’ (I cannot be satisfied for even one second). The original was made famous by the legendary Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. Please find the lyrics and translation to the one sung by Romy below :

Lyrics and meaning :

.

Sanu ik pal chain na aave

I can’t find satisfaction even for a second

Sajna tere bina

Without you my love

Dil kamla dub dub jaave

My crazy heart keeps on sinking

Sajna tere bina

Without you my love

Sajna tere bina

Without you my love

.

Raati mein jalava diva

At night I burn the lamp

Hanjua de tel da

With my tears as the oil

Hayyo rabba, sanjana nu

Oh my God, my love –

Chheti kyun ni mel da

Why don’t you meet me quickly

.

Sanu ik pal chain na aave

I can’t find satisfaction even for a second

Sajna tere bina

Without you my love

Dil kamla dub dub jaave

My crazy heart keeps on sinking

Sajna tere bina

Without you my love

Sajna tere bina

Without you my love

Death · life · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

Peace

Come lie next to me

And let me speak

Speak to your heart

what my heart feels.

.

It feels no pain

And no joy

No worry, excitement or fear

All that remains is peace

.

I am happy here

Finally my restless soul is at peace

Poem · Poetry

God is the master artist

You create

I can only imitate.

You are the only one

Creating a masterpiece 

every moment.

How is it possible

That your glory be denied?

How can someone

Be so far from the truth?

One sunset, one sunrise

Can change a life.

Here’s hoping

You continue being the artist

And I keep getting inspired

To imitate you.

After sunset glow in the sky
Full moon at Del Mar
Beautiful day at Lake Poway Park
Healing · music

Root chakra healing when facing change

Root chakra healing is the base for all other healings. A healed root chakra helps a person feel stable, secure, safe and abundant. People who grew up in unsafe/narcissistic/dysfunctional environments need a lot of Mooladhar (Root) chakra healing. Whenever a person goes through change or a transformation, they require support. But unfortunately, for kids who grew up without a good support system, every change seemed like a threat. This triggers the person’s nervous system to go into ‘fight or flight’ mode. Even as an adult when this person faces any change in life, their body will remember and go into the same memory – mind, body state which they used to be as a child. But healing this is possible in many ways. One way is through music and musical instruments.

‘Shehnai’ is a musical instrument which is said to heal a person’s Mooladhar (Root) chakra. It is commonly played at weddings. Recently, I heard a song which has a great piece of shehnai instrument playing. The rest of the song is wonderful as well, sung by the amazing singer Atif Aslam (hits all the high notes beautifully). It is an OST for a new Pakistani drama. Below is the song and a translation of the lyrics in English.

P.S.: For all those who don’t know Shehnai’s sound, it plays in the middle of the song @ 1:53.

Translation of lyrics in English :

There is love, there is passion

Or is this the wonder of bliss

What do you know of this

Oh ignorant sad life (of mine)

You are wonderful

That one who hasn’t met himself

How will he meet you?

He is ignorant and he is lost

How will he meet you?

You are in the city of your wishes

You are on the journey of your love

You are not aware of your existence

Or even bothered about it

Here and there, everywhere

Where are you going again?

Are you again looking for that

stone that is like a moon? (Metaphor for something that cannot be acquired)

Life – you have many faces

And every face has many colors

How do you expect to get flowers

When what you hold in your hands are stones

That which was never heard or told

An unheard life story

He isn’t bothered if he has a large travel party with him

Because he is the travel party even by himself

That one who hasn’t met himself

How will he meet you?

He is ignorant and he is lost

How will he meet you?

Here and there, everywhere

Where are you going again?

Are you again looking for that

stone that is like a moon? (Metaphor for something that cannot be acquired)

The wound is where the light entered me

Such mysteries have come to surface

These came and settled in my eyes

All the pains that my lips could not speak

Healing · life · music · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

When the mask slips…

For how long 

Do you plan to pretend?

For sooner or later

The mask always slips

The thousand masks

That you wear

Do not help hide

The ugliness from the Creator

For He always sees you

Completely naked

Like the day He created you

A perfect song to go with this poem (please turn on captions to understand the lyrics) :

Image source : https://discover.hubpages.com/health/Tactics-of-a-Narcissistic-Mother

Healing

How to heal the ‘mother’ wound?

Most of us suffer from a ‘mother wound’. In quite simple words – this is a wound that a child feels when their mother makes them feel – ‘You are not good enough’. This feeling can happen when a child is a baby, toddler, teen or even as an adult. This wound however, doesn’t show up overtly in most people but mostly covertly, in the behaviors described below. If you recognize it yourself, then perhaps you do need to do some ancestral healing.

The cause of this feeling is co-dependency. This co-dependency certainly makes sense as an infant – because an infant is completely dependent on it’s mother for survival. But even as a child grows, parents are the main and most important mirrors for a child. Mirrors meaning they show the child his/her worth, build their ego/identity and bolster them. They are the obvious safe space for the child. This role is mostly fulfilled by a mom as stereotypically, men have not been as involved in child raising (not true in all cases, of course).

Described above is the ideal case, however, most of the time we find ourselves in not so ideal situations 🙂 A mother is often stressed, oppressed and quite frankly, totally oblivious to her internal state most of the time. She might be emotionally abusive or absent, overbearing, completely self-sacrificing with zero boundaries, projecting a lot of her fears, anxieties and complexes over her child/children, overly demanding, overly victim mindset oriented, pitting one child against another or narcissistic. Another common pattern is the mother handling down to a child, all the toxic emotion that her husband might have given her. Making the child almost like a substitute for the detached husband. Again, I would like to emphasize that not all of this happens in the real world by spoken words or actions – but energetically, and a child can sense it out – at a conscious or at a subconscious level.

In which case would a mother wound not occur? It would not occur if the mother is a completely healed and a whole human in herself, who is capable of giving real ‘unconditional love’, if not always – then most of the time. This is obviously a tall order for any human.

This ‘mother wound’ can show itself in one or more of the following ways in the child’s life :

  1. Co-dependency, excessive neediness or excessive detachment in relationships.
  2. Lack of self-worth.
  3. Poor boundaries.
  4. Self-sabotaging tendencies when meeting success in life, core negative outlook (with the internal feeling that ‘I don’t deserve this’).
  5. People pleasing tendencies.
  6. Problems with accepting love. (with the internal feeling of ‘I don’t deserve this love’).
  7. Problems trusting others who show them love (with the internal feeling that ‘What do they want from me?’).
  8. Weird sexual fantasies and fetishes (especially for male child).
  9. Fear of abandonment and intimacy issues (with the internal feeling that ‘I don’t want to depend on anyone’) This is actually repression of feminine energies in oneself – as the feminine energies remind the adult of their mother.
  10. Constant comparison with others to seek validation for ourself.
  11. Feeling of betrayal if someone we love does something against our wishes.

How then can one heal this ‘mother’ wound? I am listing some techniques below.

  1. Realize that your mother was just a human – the idea of a ‘perfect mother’ is a complete oversell by society.
  2. Realize that your mother (who might be at least 20+ years older than you) grew up in times where she was probably not shown this unditional love as well. She might not have been shown any love actually. She is probably passing on this ‘mother’ wound – of feeling worthless or not good enough to you.
  3. Realize that your mother must have been fighting her own battles in a male dominated society without the proper means to get emotional help, understanding or education. She must not have any time to heal from all the emotional wounds that she had.
  4. Start a practice of self-love. If your mother did or does not love you unconditionally – then you do it. Love yourself unconditionally. If you have a mother who points out all of your so-called ‘flaws’ (physical or personality based), then realize that you have the power to LOVE your so-called ‘flaws’ and own them completely as a part of yourself.
  5. Energetic cord cutting and aura cleansing might also help.
  6. Hypnotherapy and childhood regression might also be helpful.
  7. Psychotherapy is also helpful.
  8. Chakras affected by this are – root chakra (Muladhar chakra), sacral chakra (Svadhishtan chakra), solar plexus chakra (Manipur chakra) and heart chakra (Anahata chakra). Work on healing these chakras.
  9. Get comfortable with your feminine energies of ‘being’, loving, kindness, waiting, praying, etc.

Hope this helps! Wish you all a lot of love and light 🙂